One-hundred-and-twenty-one G.U.Y.S. – the entirety of the criminal empire’s workforce – were crammed, shoulder-to-shoulder, in their Hamelin Pointe headquarters, awaiting the arrival of their Leader. Three days of radio silence had elapsed since The Leader of the G.U.Y.S. was last heard from, and his employees had been gleefully slacking off in his absence until, that morning, he paged them and told them to expect him at HQ around three o’clock in the afternoon. As three o’clock came and went, disenchanted ramblings slowly began to permeate the room – rhetorical questions and theories about where their boss was, what was keeping him from arriving on time, how much longer they would have to stick around before giving up and going home. By quarter past three, the whispers had grown to a crescendo. That is when he walked in and took the stage.
“GUY-it!” hollered The Leader of The G.U.Y.S., instantly silencing his minions. “As you know, a skeleton matching the description of the old-thorn-in-our-side Super Roger recently surfaced. He turned up in Seaside. Any of you who’ve been working here for a while know that we killed Super Roger a long time ago. Welp, it turns out this skeleton was a false alarm – we really did kill Super Roger. This new bag o’ bones is his kid. Yep. And guess what his name is? Roger. Pretty lame, if ya ask me.
“Me and Guy and Other Guy and Another Guy went to investigate this Roger Junior character three days ago. Turns out he’s got no super powers, no nothin’. Not a threat to us or our operations. But we’re still gonna kill him.”
For Guy, who stood in the very front of room, this murderous declaration struck an unsettling chord; after all, he had been there in The Seaside and was instrumental in the attack against Roger. When Guy had been selected for this mission, he was ecstatic to be chosen to go out into the field for the first time so soon after being hired by The G.U.Y.S. But, after going toe-to-toe with Roger, Guy was not convinced that the skeleton was anything more than a victim of circumstance, thrust into a situation way over his skull by nothing more than the nature of his birth. Certainly he did not deserve to be killed at the hands of foes of his father.
“Wait,” protested Guy, “this Roger kid wasn’t so bad.”
“Guy, I am only going to say this to you once,” snapped The Leader. “GUY-it!”
“Now, taking care of Roger shouldn’t be too hard. And since he isn’t much of a threat at all, that can wait. We practically had him dead to rights the other day, but he just managed to get outta there before we could finish the job,” resumed The Leader.
“No he didn’t,” corrected Guy, genuinely confused by his boss’s apparent misremembering. “You’ve got it backwards. We barely escaped, from him.”
The Leader was not pleased with Guy’s sincere attempt to set the record straight. His response tore through the room, loudly and with apparent strain,
So quietly that no one else could hear him, Guy uttered,
“I thought you were only going to tell me that once…”
But Guy was right – The Leader really was fudging the facts. Powers or no powers, Roger had managed to single-handedly destroy The G.U.Y.S.’s helicopter and put Guy, Other Guy, Another Guy, and The Leader out of commission. After crawling from the burning wreckage of their chopper, The G.U.Y.S. had to walk most of the way back to Hamelin Pointe. They attempted to hitchhike, but even the most trusting of drivers would not stop to offer a ride to the foursome.
After many long miles, they were lucky enough to stumble upon railroad tracks bound for Hamelin Pointe. The G.U.Y.S. waited all night long for a train to pass by, but each of the ten they saw were traveling away from their destination. As the sun rose, a train headed their way finally materialized. The villains ran next to it as fast as their sore, well-trodden feet would allow and then jumped into an empty boxcar. Another night passed, filled with bickering and complaints of motion sickness, and then The G.U.Y.S. had arrived in Hamelin Pointe, where The Leader proceeded to contact the rest of their members to organize the debriefing.
“Now,” said The Leader, changing the subject, “down to business. Before Roger Junior came into the picture, I was planning a big job at an elementary school in Poissoniere. Now that we know the skeleton is nothin’ but a punk, we can get this Poissoniere thing off the ground. This is a huge plan, and the only way it’s gonna work is if we do it phases. Phase one is research. I’ll only need three of you for that. Phase two, that’s action. Then you’ll all be able to get in there…”